Computer Engineer from Brazil
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Client: My boss asked you to grant me access to this software, but it’s still not working! I can’t...

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Client: My boss asked you to grant me access to this software, but it’s still not working! I can’t do any work without it!

Me: Ok, I’ll check your account. Can you please hold the line a minute?

Client: Yes, but just a minute, ok? I really need this access quickly!

Me: Your access is indeed not granted, but I can’t find the approved request from your boss. When was it sent?

Client: Well, when I started working on this department, obviously, since I need this software to do my job.

Me: Can you tell me on which date you started, then?

Client: Can’t remember exactly, but it was about 2 or 3 years ago.

Me: … and you can’t work without it, right?

Client: Yeah.

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gabrielgeraldo
25 days ago
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São Paulo
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A client I worked with was leaving their company and asked me to remove their information from...

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A client I worked with was leaving their company and asked me to remove their information from the homepage.

Client: Oh my name needs to come off, can you take it off?

Me: sure, I just need the files to the webpage

Client: Hmm, I don’t know where those are let me try something

She then proceeded to highlight her name in the browser and press the backspace key, expecting the text to disappear.

I hurt my shoulder trying not to laugh.  

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gabrielgeraldo
59 days ago
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São Paulo
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Request from a client who worked very closely in designing his website with me, yet still apparently...

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Request from a client who worked very closely in designing his website with me, yet still apparently thinks it was delivered from the sky by some omniscient web-stork.

Client: On our site, I’d like to add a map of all our locations nationwide.

Me: Ok, can you send me a database of all the addresses?

Client: I don’t have that. You’ll have to check the website for a list of addresses.

Me: There’s nothing like that on the website.

Client: Quick answer… you didn’t even check. 

Me: I don’t need to check because I made the website, and I know nothing like that is on there. 

Client: Ok, then see if you can contact the webmaster, they will know.

Me: I AM the webmaster… remember last year, when we made this site together, using information you provided?

Client: So you have no idea and you’re not even going to try to find out. Well, that’s very disappointing.

Me: How do you expect me to know the locations of your business when you, the boss, do not?

Client: That isn’t my job.

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gabrielgeraldo
66 days ago
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São Paulo
tingham
66 days ago
"Not my division."
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Client: I just spent hours searching royalty-free images for the brochure and website but there is...

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Client: I just spent hours searching royalty-free images for the brochure and website but there is just way too many and I don’t have the time – can you look for me?

Me: Sure - we can do the search. Our rate $X per hour.

Client: No, no, no – it’s not part of the job. I want you to find the images for me to choose from before you start on the brochure and website.

Me: Searching for images requires using my studio’s resources which is $X per hour.

Client: Could you do it after work?

Me: Then it’s 2 x $X per hour.

Client: You are being ridiculous.

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gabrielgeraldo
80 days ago
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São Paulo
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"You know, you guys are never under budget. Why is it that you always come in at around the estimated..."

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“You know, you guys are never under budget. Why is it that you always come in at around the estimated fee you sent to us?”
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gabrielgeraldo
93 days ago
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São Paulo
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1 public comment
HarlandCorbin
93 days ago
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Why don't you ever offer to pay us more than we invoice you for?

"Website will need to function and look very much like www.apple.com. LOOK AND STUDY apple.com. Our..."

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“Website will need to function and look very much like www.apple.com. LOOK AND STUDY apple.com. Our site must (MUST) operate, function, and look very much like this site on both mobile & desktop. We DO NOT WANT TO COPY apple, but make site identical.”
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gabrielgeraldo
116 days ago
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São Paulo
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