Computer Engineer from Brazil
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I set up, designed, and maintained a vanity blog for a bored, wealthy middle-aged woman.  After a...

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I set up, designed, and maintained a vanity blog for a bored, wealthy middle-aged woman.  After a few months she wanted analytics installed.

Client: You installed my analytics wrong.

Me: I’m sorry. Is it not tracking anything?

Client: It’s only tracking a couple of people.

I sign in and look to see everything working fine.

Me: I’m showing four page loads this week.  It seems to be tracking just fine.

Client:  Well it’s not. My husband says he reads it every day, and all of his employees do too. So do my friends and neighbors. And the other day, I went to Florida, and everyone there said they were reading it too! 

Knowing there is no way out of this conversation…

Me: I’ll take a look at it.

There’s no easy way to say “all your loved ones are lying to you.”

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gabrielgeraldo
7 days ago
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São Paulo
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1 public comment
jepler
7 days ago
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I guess you'll just have to generate some fake traffic...
Earth, Sol system, Western spiral arm

"I sent you the photos. Half are in PowerPoint, the other half are excel. We lost the JPGs, sorry."

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“I sent you the photos. Half are in PowerPoint, the other half are excel. We lost the JPGs, sorry.”
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gabrielgeraldo
29 days ago
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São Paulo
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Making Progress

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I started off with countless problems. But now I know, thanks to COUNT(), that I have "#REF! ERROR: Circular dependency detected" problems.
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popular
29 days ago
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gabrielgeraldo
31 days ago
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São Paulo
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7 public comments
daanzu_alt_text_bot
10 days ago
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I started off with countless problems. But now I know, thanks to COUNT(), that I have "#REF! ERROR: Circular dependency detected" problems.
mihai
27 days ago
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For Ann
Cupertino, CA
growler
29 days ago
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Всё так
bogorad
29 days ago
GTD rulez :)
JayM
30 days ago
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Heh
Atlanta, GA
zippy72
30 days ago
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I've got 99 problems or 103 depending whether my DCOUNT() or COUNTIF() is correct
FourSquare, qv
Covarr
31 days ago
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I started the day with coffee. But now, after hours and hours of work, it's worn off.
Moses Lake, WA
NielsRak
30 days ago
*minutes
expatpaul
31 days ago
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A far too familiar feeling
Belgium

Changes in Password Best Practices

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NIST recently published its four-volume SP800-63b Digital Identity Guidelines. Among other things, it makes three important suggestions when it comes to passwords:

  1. Stop it with the annoying password complexity rules. They make passwords harder to remember. They increase errors because artificially complex passwords are harder to type in. And they don't help that much. It's better to allow people to use pass phrases.

  2. Stop it with password expiration. That was an old idea for an old way we used computers. Today, don't make people change their passwords unless there's indication of compromise.

  3. Let people use password managers. This is how we deal with all the passwords we need.

These password rules were failed attempts to fix the user. Better we fix the security systems.

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gabrielgeraldo
36 days ago
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São Paulo
vitormazzi
44 days ago
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Brasil
popular
44 days ago
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CallMeWilliam
44 days ago
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A meeting recently:
Developer Team: Our passwords require special characters, and max out at 30 characters.
Me: Why on EARTH did you do any of that? Why do you have a max?
Devs: Because ... it's hard to remember something long? How long do you want it to be?
Me: ... Get rid of the max. Get rid of the special characters.
CIO: Wait. Why do we have passwords at all? Can we link to google/linkedin/facebook and make it their problem? We are not in the security business.
Devs: Yes!
acdha
44 days ago
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I’ve been happy watching such sensible guidelines make it through the review process
Washington, DC

I have a client who communicates exclusively via Microsoft Word.If she has something to tell me,...

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I have a client who communicates exclusively via Microsoft Word.

If she has something to tell me, I’ll receive an email with nothing in the body, but a Word doc attached. That’s where she writes her message.

Whenever she wants to email me a photo, she does so via an empty Word doc with said photo set as its background.

But my favorite thing was the first time I witnessed her visiting a website. She had me spell the URL (“W… W… W… dot…”) and with my own two eyes I watched her type it into Word, made it a hyperlink, and Ctrl click it to go there.

I was so fascinated I didn’t even say anything.

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gabrielgeraldo
60 days ago
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São Paulo
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mareino
61 days ago
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There was always that one guy in computer science who did everything in emacs, but this takes it to a whole new level.
Washington, District of Columbia

NOVOS MEVDENES - Geraldo, o prestador de serviços gerais poeta

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NOVOS MEVDENES - Geraldo, o prestador de serviços gerais poeta

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gabrielgeraldo
70 days ago
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São Paulo
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